Spanish title: Aventuras del Capitan Kid
Stars: Richard Crane, David Bruce, John Crawford, George Wallace
Directed by: Derwin Abbe, Charles S. Gould
Distributor: Columbia Pictures

"The king of the pirates! 15 sensational episodes!"

The age of the serials was well and truly over by the time this pedestrian matinee ‘thriller’ series hit the screens, and it has all the hallmarks of a thrown-together-at-the-last-minute outing.

A chubby Richard Crane sleepwalks through the production as a (strangely non-villainous) Captain Kidd, as he stumbles from one lame cliffhanger to the next, battling supposed bad guys and wooing supposed women.

The lobby card promoting the series upon it’s Spanish release is reflective of the lack of care demonstrated by the filmmakers, as it’s basically illustrated art mixed in with some cut’n'paste photo imagery, surrounding the requisite still shot.

Certainly it’s far from ugly, but at the same time, it sure as heck ain’t Spy Smasher or Flash Gordon.

Interesting sidenote: This series was co-written by George H. Plympton and Arthur Hoerl, who between them had a part in writing just about half the films that came out of Hollywood from 1912 on up. In 1929 alone, Plympton had a part in the writing of 13 different films and series, and a year before that, the number was an astonishing 35. In 1930, he was only involved in one film, so we’re guessing he took a well deserved holiday that year.

That said, Plympton wasn’t away from the typewriter for long, and was still cranking out scripts as late as 1966!

Arthur Hoerl wasn’t far behind, in terms of productivity, but while he took part in 152 films and series over his career, Plympton amassed a whopping 288 productions… can you imagine the royalty checks?

Spanish title: La Sirena Del Caribe
Stars: Jane Russell, Gilbert Roland, Richard Egan
Directed by: John Sturges
Distributor: RKO Radio Pictures

"Between thousands of pirates and killer sharks, she looks for of a
lost treasure – the most fabulous adventure under the sea!"

Jane Russell was said to have been ‘two of the biggest stars in show business’, and as a result of the fact that her chest was as famous as her name, she appeared in a fair number of films in which, really, the entire shoot was based around getting her as naked as possible, as often as possible. This is one such film.

Having broken free of the clutches of Howard Hughes (who ‘discovered’ her working as a dental assistant, before making her the star of The Outlaw, and paying her a wage to promote it every day for the five years it took to get the film past censors and on to the screen), Russell made many claims that she was going to take on more serious roles, but the fluff paid well enough that it was tough to resist.

In this film, there’s much talk about pirates and sharks and treasure, but really all anyone was turning up for was a look at Jane Russell in her skimpies.

And the film delivers on that front, as is seen on the promo art for the film above; in fact, the image of the star from this lobby card was so successful at grabbing the attention of passers-by, that other (less ethical) Mexican distributors actually stole it and placed it on the promo art for other films – films that Russell had nothing to do with.

I’m a big fan of this card, for all the obvious reasons, but also because if you take Russell and her most marketable assets out of the picture entirely, it’s still a great piece of original art.

Spanish title: El Satiro de la Playa (The Satyr of the Beach)
Stars: Dwan (or is it Dawn?) Marlow, Anton van Stralen, Doug Leith
Directed by: Bethel Buckalew
Distributor: Peliculas Agrasanchez

"Hours of ecstasy…! And hours of terror that you’ll never forget…!"

Bethel Buckalew (AKA Peter Porter, AKA Peter Perry, AKA A.P. Stootsberry, AKA Seymour Tuchus) made a lot of really bad, really sex-obsessed films from 1959 to 1980, and his second cinematic outing was this mostly forgotten sexploitation failure that reads like a novel titled "How To Get Your Wife Killed".

The story goes that a honeymoon couple go to a place called Thunder Island to, like, hump a lot. And when hubby decides to go back for some supplies, he leaves the missus behind… only to discover that someone else – someone dangerous – is on the island as well. Torn shirts ensue.

Then again, could you expect anything less from the man who brought you Midnight Plowboy, The Secret Sex Lives of Romeo and Juliet, and Knockers Up?

Anton van Stralen was the only one in the cast who had ever acted before, and even that was in films like high School Caesar, and Naked Youth, so it’s not like anyone here was in it for the craft. 

I can’t speak to the quality of the film itself, but I can say that I love this lobby card. From the original/remake situation going on with the black and white still image and the repainted version of same right above it, to the misspelled "Dwan Marlow" credit (which lives on to this day, being as the actress never worked again and thus received no other credits), to the ever-so-common Mexican ploy of having a nice big closeup of a screaming woman getting her shirt torn off, this is just schlock exploitation promo art done to perfection.

Seriously – if you’d shown up to the theater and seen this poster, wouldn’t you have thrown down a buck? Just for the heck of it?

Spanish title: La Laguna Azul
Stars: Brooke Shields, Christopher Atkins, Leo McKern, William Daniels
Directed by: Randal Kleiser
Distributor: Columbia Pictures

"The sensational story of a natural romance."

We really don’t have much to add here. It’s a cheap, cheesy lobby card that illustrates perfectly what was lost when the distributors switched from original art to photo art.

In all honesty, we wouldn’t have put this in the collection normally, but we just think the picture is hilarious.

Write your own caption.

Spanish title: Intriga de Honolulu (Intrigue in Honolulu)
Stars: John Wayne, Nancy Olso, James Arness
Directed by: Edward Ludwig
Distributor: Warner Bros

"He traveled 6000 miles on a secret mission to squash a group of assassins who threatened the world!"

In general, I’m not a fan of the cut’n'paste lobby cards, at least not as much as those with original artwork, but it must be said that this particular lobby card design makes tremendous use of the black and white publicity stills upon which it’s based.

John Wayne has never looked more barrel-chested, there’s schlocky Hawaiian references like beach print shirts and hula dancers all over the thing, and though The Duke was getting on a little at the time of this film, he wears it well.

If there’s anything troubling about this lobby card, it’s the concept of the film itself; Wayne and James Arness play a couple of all-American House Unamerican Activities Committee heavies who travel to Hawaii to break up a Communist Party chapter, thus saving the US from evil. Of course, it was actually legal to be a member of the Communist Party at the time, but don’t let things like legality stop you from booing those evil socialists and their ’share the wealth’ ways!

Stomp ‘em! Stomp ‘em, Duke!

Co-star Nancy Olson apparently wasn’t a big fan of the anti-Leftist nature of the film, and only agreed to be in it because it meant six weeks in Hawaii and the chance to work with Wayne. She reportedly figured nobody would ever see it, and was said to have often argued about politics with right-winger Wayne between shots. 

On a trivial aside, in the German version of this film, there’s no mention of Communists at all – instead, Wayne and Arness battle marijuana dealers! In fact, the German title for the film is "Mathuana"

Another interesting aside is that, in the case of this lobby card, the WB logo looks to have been shakily painted on to the design by hand, rather than based on print-ready art, making one wonder whether it was an ‘official’ release or perhaps something a little under the radar…

This particular lobby card isn’t exactly cherry, with tears on the bottom corners where some unwitting Mexican theater worker once tore them from the wall. A pair of pinholes in each of the top corners, and another in the bottom center indicate that this card adorned a theater wall more than once, but the colors are fantastic and the design is so cool that it makes this a card well worth framing.